We’re Only as Faithful as Our Options
Some thoughts on infidelity
I always thought there was something thrilling about infidelity. That people who cheat get turned on by the fact that they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing. The excitement brought by secrecy. The sexual tension added by the thought of breaking the rules and rebellion. The power of knowing something your significant other doesn’t. But what about the guilt?
I recite this story as a girl who’s never been cheated on (as far as I know). I can’t imagine what it feels like. I can’t relate to the pain. But although I have never been a victim of cheating,I have played a role in cheating stories. (you can read about those here and here) And as a girl who did the whole “study abroad” thing, I’ve probably been involved in more cheating stories than I care to think.
Living in separate countries presents trust issues which same country relationships do not.
How are they ever going to find out?
They’ll never know.
There is no connection between here and there.
I can be who ever I want to be here.
There are miles, timezones and millions of people between us.
It’s never going to get to them.
How difficult is it to lie to someone you aren’t physically with? The answer is, not as difficult as it should be. Although I feel that for anyone who possesses any sense of morality it is difficult to lie to someone you are physically with. Saying, or acting, as though you’re single, when you’re not is a double crime. Lying to the person you’re cheating with (not cheating on) is equally as bad as lying to the person you’re cheating on. You owe your loyalty to everyone, not just to your significant other. How can you lie to someone to their face and make them a victim of your unfaithfulness. Make them unwillingly play the role of the homewrecker in your story.
When cheating abroad, it’s not usually a case of better options, it’s a case of lust, convenience, and disloyalty.
I wish I could take credit for the title of this story, “He’s Only as Faithful as His Options.” I heard it on a the ‘U up?’ podcast (which I highly recommend you all give a listen to) where Jared Fried was quoting Chris Rock. The worthiness of our options determine our faithfulness. Given the opportunity to go for something better, a more worthy option, we would all take it. Because if we don’t, then it’s not a worthy enough option.
Don’t think that I’m making excuses for cheaters. Not everyone who cheats goes for a better option. Some stoop lower and make mistakes. In fact, I’d say the majority do. But think about it, if you are face with the ultimate, best, perfect, super, incredible, undoubtedly flawless possible option, wouldn’t you take it? A potential soulmate, you’re given 1 shot, just 1, to go for it. Are you really going to tell me you wouldn’t snatch that opportunity and deal with the consequences later?
So here’s a message from us girls.
We’re sick of saying, “I got with this super cool guy last night… but I think he’s got a girlfriend”. We’re sick of finding guys on tinder who are in relationships. We’re sick of being fed lies and feeling like homewreckers. We’re sick of being lied to from miles away. We’re sick of living in fear of infidelity. We want the truth and nothing else. Some people are only as faithful as their options, other just aren’t faithful at all. We need better senses to sniff out the rats.
Mood:
When living apart,
if we don’t have blind trust we have nothing,
and we don’t have blind trust.
Therefore, we have nothing.
