If He Doesn’t Fight For You

Don’t look back.

We’ve all got this picture perfect idea of what our ideal boyfriend is. Not necessarily what he looks like, but what he does, the way he does it, and how he treats us. We may set our expectations unrealistically high, leading us to feel extremely disappointed when he doesn’t meet them. But there are some realistic expectations that simply must be met.

Growing up watching movies like The Titanic and The Notebook has led us to an over exaggerated idea of what relationships are like. But I’m not here to lecture you on how relationships work. If there were any standard way a proper relationship does work, none of us would be here reading this right now and I would have no muse to write. I’m here to lecture you on the feelings you’ll feel when you’re in the right relationship.

I won’t settle for anything less than the heart racing, wildfire, take-a-bullet-for-you passionate kind of love we see in movies and I don’t think anyone should.

When you’re in the right relationship, you’ll know it and he’ll know it too. You won’t need to justify it by any words or gifts. You’ll feel it in your gut. That’s why we have instincts. Our instincts are trained through previous experiences. This is how you’ll know that this is what you want, and this is what he wants too. We learn enough from previous relationships and experiences to know whats working out and what isn’t.

Suprisingly enough, this was a lesson I learnt from one of my ex boyfriends. We broke up. And he wanted to get back together. I, on the contrary, wasn’t 100% sure, considering the reasons we broke up. And after countless weeks of arguing he told me

‘If you wanted me enough, you’d know it’

And he was right. I didn’t want him, not like that. I didn’t want him enough to sacrifice the life, strength and indepedence I had built without him.

So if you look at it from the reverse situation. If he wants you enough, he shouldn’t need an excessive amount of time debating it and thinking about it. He should be ready to risk it all for you. He should know what he feels about you. Do you really want someone who doesn’t want you back as much as you want them? You want him to want you enough to make sacrifices.

…. Or maybe I expect too much?