A Leopard Doesn’t Change His Spots

Stop thinking he’s going to change for you.

A couple of heartfelt lessons I’d like to pass on, that I learnt from a guy I prioritised for way too long (If you’re reading this, I’m sorry. Sorry you’re such a piece of shit)

Detect disrespect as early as you can.

Be real and true to yourself. Be aware and attentive. Be conscious of what you deserve. Be in control. Don’t let things that hurt you slide. And all these steps should help you detect disrespect. If you detect that a guy is disrespectful at an early stage in the relationship, you’re saving yourself the heartbreak later on. It might be difficult to admit to yourself that he does disrespectful acts, but the sooner you learn to accept it, the more you’re looking out for yourself.

Once an asshole, ALWAYS an asshole.

People don’t wake up one morning and suddenly become Mother Theresa. Change takes time and not to mention an extreme amount of effort. He might want to change and become a better person, but if he doesn’t put in the effort (and believe me, if he’s putting in sufficient effort, you’ll notice. He won’t need to say it 10 times a day) then he’s not actually serious about changing his ways. As lovely as it is to be forgiving and give second chances, there is a limit to how many second chances you should give. I can assure you if he’s set in his asshole-dickface-piece-of-shit-scumbag ways, he’s not just going to snap out of them.

Take a look at his transcript. How he treated previous girls. How he treats his friends. How he treats his family, his mother in particular. How he treats people he doesn’t really like. How he treats people you don’t really like. And most importantly, how he treats you.

Actions speak louder than words.

You’re probably sick of hearing this one from every adult who’s ever tried to give you life advice. But I can’t even begin to stress how important this is! Does he say he misses you? Yes. Does he book a flight, train, bus, taxi, horse or even walk if he has to, just to come and see you? Does he do the things that you’ve told him are important to you and stopped doing those that he knows you don’t approve of?

Stop falling for the ‘I love you’s and the ‘I miss you’s and start basing your infatuation on his actions.

Whenever a sly guy tells you exactly what you want to hear, ITS BULLSHIT.

And lastly, don’t underestimate his impish and cunning creativty. He knows what you want to hear. He’s seen it in the movies and he can see it written all over your face. You need to be on full alert and filter through the real and the rehearsed.